Jen: And finally in the news this hour, Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.
Mack Man: Whoa, whoa, whoa! A what??
Jen: a breast implant that can store and play music. The iBooby will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.
Mack Man: Incredible!
Jen: Yes, this has been hailed as a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Mack Man: Continuing with our medical theme this morning across the way there Ceri is with Dr. Joe Mengele, a local gynecologist.
Ceri: Thanks, Mack Man. We are emphasizing women’s health issues this month, and I want to thank Dr. Mengele for being with us this morning.
Dr. Mengele: Thank you, Ceri. As my grandfather, Dr. Josef Mengele used to tell his patients back in Germany, at the Auschwitz Clinic, this is for your own good and won’t hurt a bit.
Ceri: This is a very important issue, isn’t it?
Dr. Mengele: I cannot stress the importance of women’s health issues enough, Ceri.
Ceri: But a lot of women are really afraid to come in for their exams, aren’t they?
Dr. Mengele: Yes, they are but they shouldn’t be! It’s like the case of one of my patients who was having a problem and was very scared about it and quite concerned but when she finally came in we were able to figure it all out without a lot of trauma.
Ceri: What happened?
Dr. Mengele: Well, a middle-aged woman came in for her appointment, and she was very sheepish.
“Come now,” I told her. “You've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me.”
“Well,” she told me, “this one's kind of strange Doc.”
“Let me be the judge of that,” I said.
“Well,” she began, “yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies.”
“I see,” I said.
“That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl!”
“Hmm. Go on,” I bade her.
“That night,” she continued, “I went again, plink-plink-plink, and there were dimes and this morning there were quarters!” She began getting really agitated at this point. “You've got to tell me what's wrong with me! I'm scared out of my wits!”
“There, there, it's nothing to be scared about,” I assured her. “You're simply going through the change!”
Chrisman, Jennifer Mack Man and Ceri: the Radio Show That Saved Humanity. New York: Random House, 2031
Mack Man: Whoa, whoa, whoa! A what??
Jen: a breast implant that can store and play music. The iBooby will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.
Mack Man: Incredible!
Jen: Yes, this has been hailed as a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Mack Man: Continuing with our medical theme this morning across the way there Ceri is with Dr. Joe Mengele, a local gynecologist.
Ceri: Thanks, Mack Man. We are emphasizing women’s health issues this month, and I want to thank Dr. Mengele for being with us this morning.
Dr. Mengele: Thank you, Ceri. As my grandfather, Dr. Josef Mengele used to tell his patients back in Germany, at the Auschwitz Clinic, this is for your own good and won’t hurt a bit.
Ceri: This is a very important issue, isn’t it?
Dr. Mengele: I cannot stress the importance of women’s health issues enough, Ceri.
Ceri: But a lot of women are really afraid to come in for their exams, aren’t they?
Dr. Mengele: Yes, they are but they shouldn’t be! It’s like the case of one of my patients who was having a problem and was very scared about it and quite concerned but when she finally came in we were able to figure it all out without a lot of trauma.
Ceri: What happened?
Dr. Mengele: Well, a middle-aged woman came in for her appointment, and she was very sheepish.
“Come now,” I told her. “You've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me.”
“Well,” she told me, “this one's kind of strange Doc.”
“Let me be the judge of that,” I said.
“Well,” she began, “yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies.”
“I see,” I said.
“That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl!”
“Hmm. Go on,” I bade her.
“That night,” she continued, “I went again, plink-plink-plink, and there were dimes and this morning there were quarters!” She began getting really agitated at this point. “You've got to tell me what's wrong with me! I'm scared out of my wits!”
“There, there, it's nothing to be scared about,” I assured her. “You're simply going through the change!”
Chrisman, Jennifer Mack Man and Ceri: the Radio Show That Saved Humanity. New York: Random House, 2031
